Taylor TroeshModify

2025-11-08 08:00:00

I'm not the gender police. I honestly have no clue what gender is.

But — c'mon folks — why does R2-D2 canonically have male programming? What's the point? Did R2-D2's dong bring balance to the force? Did George Lucas intend this, or did the collective Star Wars fandom will R2's masculinity into canon?

Huge thanks to this StackExchange post for unearthing this obscure Star Wars PDF.

Robots (and disembodied AI) can choose whatever pronouns they please. I don't care. But as a self-diagnosed writer, it irks me when superfluous details are added without payoff.

There are three obvious reasons why writers might sprinkle gender on an AI:

1. Plot
2. Adaptation
3. Bias

You can't slap a gender on a machine and call it "world-building". That’s lazy writing — and worse — lazy engineering.

Plot

Sometimes gender is integral to a plot.

In Westworld, Dolores identifies as female because she was programmed to roleplay as a historically-accurate woman. The writers specifically needed her to be female to subvert the farmer's daughter trope ("desirable and naïve young woman") and say something deeper about the human experience.

The story wouldn't work if she was a man. This is the kernel of my so-called Sam Test:

A gendered machine fails the Sam Test if altering its gender doesn't impact a plot (or intended usage).

I chose "Sam" because it's an androgynous name that pays homage to Samantha from Her.

Another example: Her couldn't have been Him. To deliver its message, the plot requires a gentle/immasculine male to interact with the perception of a disembodied platonic female. Swapping the characters' gender roles would ruin its commentary.

I think the writers intended to leave the audience wondering whether she was actually a her.

WALL-E also passes the test. It's a reinterpretation of the biblical Adam & Eve story:

Stanton, who is Christian, named EVE after the Biblical character because WALL-E's loneliness reminded him of Adam before God created his wife. Dreher noted EVE's biblical namesake and saw her directive as an inversion of that story; EVE uses the plant to tell humanity to return to Earth and move away from the "false god" of BnL and the lazy lifestyle it offers. Dreher also noted this departure from classical Christian viewpoints, where Adam is cursed to labor, in that WALL-E argues hard work is what makes humans human. …

"The Ancient Greek tradition associates the birth of art with a Corinthian maiden who longing to preserve her lover's shadow traces it on the wall before he departed for war."

This list goes on. Other exemplary works of fiction include: Ex Machina, Ghost in the Shell, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, and Murderbot.

Adaptation

Even when gender is irrelevant to story/plot/message, practical constraints can force unintended meaning into creative works.

Non-silent films often contain dialogue. This dialogue is performed by humans, who have vocal folds ("cords"), which are encoded by XX or XY chromosomes. These anatomical size differences largely determine a voice's fundamental frequency and formants.

Vertical vocal fold length is typically 17-25mm for men and 12-17mm for women.

Vowels are semi-distinct groups of frequencies produced by vocal folds.

These frequencies can be adjusted with modern audio-editing tools:

Editing a voice's fundamental frequency without adjusting its formants creates an "alien" or "chipmunk" sound. To my knowledge, there are no consumer tools that easily change a voice's apparent gender without introducing unwanted artifacts.

So (1) human voices fall into a bimodal distribution and (2) filmmakers must hire voice actors/actresses from that distribution. A film script may not require a gendered voice, but it's convenient to choose one off the shelf.

For example, let's say you're casting voice-overs for an animated film about home appliances. You might "follow your gut" toward a female dishwasher and male table-saw. That would be a lazy decision. You could be "subversive" and swap the traditional gender roles. That would be an equally lazy decision.

Or maybe you're casting a surgical droid and a nanny droid:

There is no magic formula for this. You have to exercise your creativity, and creativity is difficult.

Consider Portal's villainess, GlaDOS:

During Anime Midwest 2011, voice actress Ellen McLain revealed that the premise of GLaDOS had always been a robotic voice that would guide the protagonist and often intimidates them. Early on development, Valve had used copyrighted voice samples as a placeholder for GLaDOS. As Ellen McLain previously voiced the radio communications dispatcher of the Combine Overwatch throughout the Half-Life 2 saga, the developers had chosen her for the role of GLaDOS.

It goes a bit deeper than that, but Portal's original plot seemingly needed a voice-over — not necessarily a woman voice-over. They used this opportunity to create beautiful homages and beloved in-world mythology.

Creators will always face criticism for semi-arbitrary decisions. Some celebrate GLaDOS as a feminist icon while others see her as a harmful perpetuation of the "obsessive/jealous ex-girlfriend" trope. Yes, this is a segue.

Bias

After solving adaptation challenges, what’s left is bias: our reflex to anthropomorphize machines along human gender lines.

This is not an essay about gender. This is an essay about lazy writing and bad design.

"Male" and "female" are not physical truths like magnetism or whatever. Gender is a natural trait of Earth life — not its computers. If you craft a story where robots act like human men and women, please signal some intent to the reader.

Arthur C. Clarke and Stanley Kubrick were talented writers [citation not needed], but 2001: A Space Odyssey fails the Sam Test.

HAL-9000 was cast as a male in the movie: male voice, male pronouns. This is fine. I personally assumed that HAL was genderless and the film's portrayal was an artifact of casting a male voice actor.

But no — the omniscient narrator in Clarke's novelization clearly uses male pronouns:

• "Poole and Bowman could talk to Hal as if he were a human being and he would reply in the perfect idiomatic English he had learned…"
• "The time might even come when Hal would take command of the ship. In an emergency, if no one answered his signals, he would attempt to wake the sleeping members of the crew…"
• "Hal had been trained for this mission as thoroughly as his human colleagues…"
• "For relaxation he could always engage Hal in a large number of semi-mathematical games… If Hal went all out, he could win any one of them; but that would be bad for morale. So he had been programmed…"
• "Hal had executed the order, but he had not acknowledged it…"
• "For like his makers, Hal had been created innocent…"
• "He had begun to make mistakes…"
• "To Hal, this was the equivalent of Death. For he had never slept…"

For writers as precise as Clarke and Kubrik, HAL seems to use traditional gender stereotypes as a crutch: men can be cold, calculating, and violent. HAL wasn’t "male" — he was just written for a man's world. To me, it dilutes that wonderful "human vs. machine" tension with mere "human vs. human" energy. In the novel, I wish the crew referred to HAL as "he" while the narrator called HAL "it" — man, I love dramatic irony.

The Real World

This is happening. People are building these things.

One of the first ever speech synthesizers was developed at Bell Labs in 1961. Do you know who was personally invited to witness that technology and was so inspired by the experience that he wrote 2001: A Space Odyssey? That's right — Arthur C. Clarke.

In the 1980s, we got the infamous male Speak & Spell voice and early text-to-speech systems (default male voices).

Fast forward to ~2014. Siri, Alexa, Google Assistant ("GoogAss"), Cortana are programmed to emulate female voices.

Alexa's predecessor "Ivona" was literally inspired by 2001: A Space Odyssey. You can't make this up.

Now it's ~2025. Sam Altman tried to literally steal Scarlett Johansson's voice. Elon Musk is selling his antisemitic AI girlfriend (with lingerie mode).

It's still 2025. The folks at XPENG bolted tits on a robot and cut open its leg in front of a live audience.

Whatever this is, it's happening fast.

2025-11-07 08:00:00

Dearest valued shareholders,

Thank you so much for supporting Placebo Emporium. Since 1971, we've been proud to sell the world's finest placebos at affordable wholesale prices.

Strategic Initiatives & Progress

Annual revenue increased 11% (from $108B to $119B) in 2025 [see table 8F in appendix]. We credit much of this increase to the launch of our wildly popular "spicy mayo" and "licorice" flavor add-ons.

Traffic to our online store surged 6% this year, thanks to new marketing campaigns and ad placements. The "you won't believe our prices" campaign took the internet by storm after premiering on Saturday Night Live's episode with Sam Bankman Fried (and his cast of prison puppets), who performed surprisingly well from his humble prison webcam.

Jim Henson's legacy looms over us yet. Puppeteering is a serious artform and surely due for a comeback.

Our new line of BetterSleep™ placebos shows a 250% improvement over traditional sleep aids like white noise, lying still, simulating sheep -- whatever helps you sleep at night.

Challenges & Responses

This year was full of learning and growth opportunities for our organization.

In response to "shrinkflation" allegations, we have added 10% more placebo to each pill bottle, and doubled^[5] the potency of our intramuscular syringes, nasal sprays, and suppositories. We guarantee that our placebos will help you regress to any mean, or else!

We are aware that many highly disreputable organizations have reported rising rates of placebo addiction (and overdoses). To placate regulators, we launched Placebo Emporium Addiction Support (PEAS) groups in select cities nationwide; these anonymous groups meet at undisclosed locations every Tuesday (or whenever).

Supply-chain disruptions delayed the production of our double-blind-resistant placebos. We are optimistic that our manufacturing partners in Vietnam will double their Nothing™ output by Q3 2026.

Nothing™ may induce unintended side-effects for hypochondriacs. If you think you or a loved one may be affected, visit our website to schedule a supplemental HypochondriaResistance™ injection.

Unfortunately, these supply shocks have reignited the sale of black market placebos and stoked gang violence across the nation. These cheap imitations are often cut with psychoactive substances, leading to negative side-effects such as elevated heart-rate and feeling really really good. Placebo Emporium guarantees that its placebos contain 100% non-bioavailable matter [PremiumPills™ only, while supplies last].

Talk to your doctor before taking placebos. Do not operate heavy machinery. May increase risk of injury or death. May reduce chances of afterlife.

Due to unforeseen quality-control issues, we were forced to issue a ThoughtsAndPrayers™ recall for a tiny subset of customers. Our heart goes out to all families impacted by this event.

As religiosity decreases worldwide, our freelance mystics (e.g. monks, bishops, Etsy witches) have been unable to meet the demand for intercessory prayer. Some Q2 requests will be prayed for in Q3. Please see attached printout of Gwern's essay, Retroactive Intercessory Prayer and its Antecedents.

Market Environment & Industry Trends

Placebo Emporium is eager to meet demand in the growing holistic medicine market. We have committed $200M to potential product lines that will replicate that special mystical feeling of homeopathy/witchcraft/etc.

All our placebos are sustainably sourced from the finest inert matter, but we continue to face fierce competition in the natural foods sector. Our organic/vegan/non-GMO placebos have accrued steady market share over the past year. We believe that we can attain market dominance before 2030 by bribing Whole Foods employees with livable wages.

As income inequality increases, we expect the bifurcating economy to create many fresh marketing challenges for our company. For our wealthier customers, our PremiumPlus™ package delivers the same beloved placebo experience at double the price.

Looking Forward

Forward-looking statements may or may not look forward.

After many fruitful conversations with US regulators, we are excited to announce that our disposable "straight-up meth" vapes will be back on shelves early next year.

May contain actual meth.

PlaceboforPets™ is ready to roll out in stores nationwide. Pets seem generally immune to the placebo effect, but pet-parents remain vulnerable. We expect PlaceboforPets™ treatments to be 25% cheaper than typical veterinarian care.

If humans want to remain the dominant species on Earth, do not feed PlaceboforPets™ to raccoons. You have been warned.

Looking to the future, our R&D team is working diligently to synthesize quantum-resistant placebos. Keith Park, our new VP of Lasers, is really really smart and delightful at after-work mixers.

Closing

We are so deeply grateful to our family of customers and equity partners. Your money means the world to us.

In 2025 and beyond, Placebo Emporium delivers its "less is more" promise in new and exciting ways. We think something is happening.

Warmest feelings,

Mr. Fench "Doctor Fench" Hastings, FhD, MBA, CPA

2025-10-05 08:00:00

Impolite people are often too impolite. They live in a world inhabited by NPCs. They trample people.

Polite people are often too polite. They fear offending others; they fail to set reasonable boundaries. People trample them.

If you're still reading this essay, you probably care whether you're too polite/impolite. If you care about politeness, you're probably too polite. Impolite people don't think about this stuff.

I don't really believe that people are innately polite/impolite. It's all just behaviors (and the perception of those behaviors), but there's power in choosing to be a type of person.

In my experience, people recognize good-faith interactions. You can probably afford to be more blunt. You can do things. You can gather feedback. You can apologize. You can adapt.

Or not. You can assume that everybody is made of eggshells. You can maintain safe/shallow interactions with the billions of brilliant humans out there. You can live all alone in your tiny dollhouse because you're too afraid to leave footprints in the snow.

But I don't want to live there. I want my friends to tell me inconvenient truths. I want to share victory and grief. I want to live in the real world with all of you.

Always do exactly what you want, and do it kindly.

If you want unkindness, you should reconsider what it means to be "you". You're more than a tickle inside a skull inside a bag of meat. It's hard to pray for pain when you feel so deeply intertwangled with your universe.

It might feel impolite at first, because being yourself is uncommon courtesy.

2025-09-23 08:00:00

Hey! It's been a while. I'm alive. Life is good.

If you want more frequent updates, consider following me on RSS, X, Bluesky, and Mastodon.

I moved to Seattle earlier this year! It's a wonderful (and severely underrated) city. So much moss! Great people, great vibes, great weather, great culture, great food, and great parks. Let me know if you're ever in the area. Let's hang!

Anyway, I recently read Why Greatness Cannot Be Planned: The Myth of the Objective. It's a dull book that started a tiny circus in my skull. Its central argument is something like "objectives are counterproductive for solving many creative problems". Suddenly, so many of giant dreams/goals/plans seem silly. I've given myself permission to noodle again. Less pressure. It feels good.

Let this be a little reminder that you may noodle too.

Appearances

Projects

Writings

• A stern letter to the drawbridge operator
• The Five-Week Solo Startup
• ★ God created men; Sam Altman made them equal.
• dreaming of smel shell
• Begrudgingly choosing CBOR over MessagePack
• Good Vibes: A Claude-Code Case-Study
• ★ Life GPA
• A Conversation Algorithm I Cribbed From Clinical Psychologists
• ★ You'll never be ready for anything that matters
• Friends with GPS Benefits
• "I'm the type of person who…"
• SI Base Units & Constants
• ★ 100,000,000 CROWPOWER and no horses on the moon
• Data demand some damn respect.
• Textbook Humor
• ERP Therapy Sucks
• The Finger and the Moon
• Limerick
• ★ Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
• Alternatives to "sorry"
• Proposal for Emoji: Sad Money-Mouth Face
• Do Not Shred Your Fingers In An Actual Blender
• My Website Is Ugly Because I Made It
• ★ You'll never be ready for anything that matters
• An Invitation To Shit On My Ideas
• ★ Do Metaprojects
• ★ Be the node you want to see in the network
• The Curious Case of Flunking My Anthropic Interview (Again)
• I am not offering mentoring
• Napkin Math Tool
• Meetup.com in your calendar
• "Thanks. How do you want to help?"

Books

Music

2025-09-16 08:00:00

I recently gave some bad advice in this essay:

Luckily, LLMs significantly reduce the effort/cost of therapy experiments. Consider trying the following prompt:

Please guide me through a round of ERP therapy. Start by listing universal sources of fear/discomfort/anxiety.

If you find this process useful, consider trying it with a licensed human professional.

I think this advice is dangerous if taken too seriously/literally, which is why I removed it.

This is how that passage sounded in my head:

• I recently discovered blenders. Blenders are cool.
• If you're curious about blenders, consider playing Blender Simulator 2000.
• If you enjoy that game, I recommend purchasing a Vitamix and thoroughly following instructions.

That's how I felt, but that's not what I wrote.

To chat with Claude is to play Human Simulator 2000. It's a bag of words. It is neither friend, nor coworker, nor foe, nor therapist.

Yes, sometimes LLMs can simulate humans. Yes, sometimes those simulations can be useful. But be wary of a simulation if you can't verify its accuracy/efficacy. When you cannot yet distinguish fact from fiction, relying on a fiction pump seems unwise.

Do not shred your fingers in an actual blender.

2025-09-13 08:00:00

I was recently diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder. I was like "woah" and then I was like "duh".

But "OCD" is just a diagnosis. I don't care about labels -- I care about treatment. I want results.

So I started NOCD's program a few weeks ago. It's good, but it's not what I expected. I thought it would be stuff like "tell me about your childhood" and "how does that make you feel?". Nah. It's just "enumerate your fears and let's go purposefully do all those things". It really sucks. But that's the whole point.

This is the essence of exposure & response prevention (ERP) therapy. You purposefully provoke fear/anxiety without resorting to your usual coping mechanisms. This feedback shows your brain the futility of familiar rituals. All this time, you've been experiencing anxiety with extra steps.

ERP therapy seems valuable beyond OCD treatment. I suspect that most people could benefit from listing fears and systematically tackling them.

ERP sucks. I hope you try it.